Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
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