So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Randomize
