stop calling my apartment porn island.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Randomize
