Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
PANTIES FOUND
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