We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
