There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
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