Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Randomize
