Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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