They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Randomize
