good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
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