i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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