I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
