I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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