I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
