so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Randomize
