sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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