drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
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