see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
