If i come over, it means nothing
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
