I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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