People with herpes should wear stickers.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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