One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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