So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
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