You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
