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i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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