i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Barsexuality is the new black.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
