before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
