You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Randomize
