Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
