i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize