He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
operation have a gay friend backfired
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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