So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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