so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
