I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
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