oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
