Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize
