im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
