whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
