now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
