How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Randomize