NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
