but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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