even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Randomize
