where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
i came on her dog
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
