I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Midget sex pt 2 tonight
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize