Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize