Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
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