hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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