Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
My brain says no but my pants say off.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
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