theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
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