Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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