put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Randomize
