Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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