So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
