69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize