The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
