wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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