i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
