i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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