you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
