We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
