i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
